This is Chester. When I was in Afghanistan I got a care package from one of those “Adopt a Soldier” programs that lets families send care packages to service men and women who are deployed overseas. Anyway, I got this care package, and it came with the usual stuff: Baby wipes, crackers, peanut butter, the Dad threw in a pack of cigarettes, and there was some jerky. But there was also a little beanie baby gold fish and a hand written note from a 7 year old girl that said
“Dear Soldier, (I wasn’t even mad)
I hope you are doing well. I’m sorry you have to miss thanksgiving with your family. This is my friend Chester. He keeps me safe from monsters, but I think you need him more than I do. I hope he keeps you safe from the monsters you’re fighting. Take good care of him for me”.
You bet your ass that little fish was in my pocket every time I went on patrol.
tips for college:
- no 1 cares if you eat alone in the dining hall
- dont be scared of upperclassmen they dont care
- dont raise your hand to go to the bathroom
- dont bring a handwritten sick note from ur mom
Imagine your icon reacting to your favorite song(s) with their current expression.
Jon Stewart is back from vacation, and he’s not wasting any time going after one of his favorite targets: Fox News.
tips for new freshmen!
- no one cares about anything
- walk on the right side of the fucking hallway
- dont sit in the back of the bus you gotta earn that. maybe next year, champ.
- stop screaming. we’re all tired and miserable.
- GIVE ME MY LUNCH TABLE BACK